This New Life
by Steffx621
Summary: Logan x Veronica / Companion piece to 'It's Bound to be Jolly' OR...just a collection of LoVe Holiday-ish one-shots over the years! :) Post Movie/Books! Holidays have never been the same since these two got back together! :)
1. II - III - IV

**Summary:** Logan x Veronica / Companion piece to 'It's Bound to be Jolly' OR...just a collection of LoVe Holiday-ish one-shots over the years! :) Post Movie/Books! Holidays have never been the same since these two got back together! :)

 **Author's Note:** Once upon a time when I started writing 'It's Bound to be Jolly', it was supposed to be a collection of _short_ one-shots using a list of holiday prompts that I've come across with. Silly me I thought I could do little ficlets for some of the prompts and then put them together in one fic... ** _I can't do that_**! lol I always get carried away/ So in the end, I ended up just posting 'It's Bound to be Jolly' since it was the "ficlet" i'd made the most progress. Fast-forward to now, I'm still trying to write something from the prompts I chose back then! ((I care very little it's not Christmas anymore! shush! lol)) I have a bunch of WIPs, but this collection of LoVe holiday one shots is the one file I keep coming back to the most, so I decided to start posting them! Counting 'It's Bound to be Jolly', I have about ten one shots, averaging 20k words or so for the whole fic -so it's not terribly long! We'll see! :)

In any case, thank you of course for stopping by and reading! :)

* * *

 _ **This New Life**_

* * *

((II))

It felt like a mostly normal homecoming until they actually made it home. Logan was away for all of eight months this time, and it definitely took a toll on them both. He was home now though, and after the tears, and _I missed yous,_ and welcome back kisses and unbreakable hugs at the airport, they decided to head home.

Logan walked in first, with Veronica standing behind him as little by little he sees her ' _homecoming surprise'._

She's smiling goofily at him when he looks back at her after taking in their living room. "You did all of this? For me?" It's a stupid question of course, but he still feels like he has to ask it.

And in the end, it's not as if Veronica minds. "Yeah, well, you did miss Christmas…" She answers as though it's not a big deal —news flash Veronica, it absolutely was. "I kinda liked getting to spend the holiday with you, sue me…"

Logan's face softens at her words, and he can't help smiling immediately. It's the middle of April, and yet their living room looks as if it was taken straight out one of those Christmas magazines. She'd gotten everything from the tree and the stockings, to actual presents under the tree and cookie platters on all their different tables.

Logan then walks all of the three steps that separate them and ducks his face just enough to kiss her. His palm is on her jaw guiding her face up, but Veronica looks away from him before he can actually kiss her. Logan gets it though —he thinks he does anyway. Even after all these years needing someone — _him_ of all people; isn't still the easiest thing for her. He cradles her face tenderly then and brings it close enough to him so that he can kiss her nose softly. "I love it. Thank you," He whispers, and after just a few seconds, Veronica looks up at him.

"I know the tree is tiny, _and fake_ , but—"

"I love it," He shushes her with a finger to her lips. Then he grins. "I love _you,_ this is _really_ awesome Veronica, _thank you…_ "

And at that, _at last,_ she smiles too and nods. "Now just wait until you see my present," She warns with a laugh that is all at once all the reasons why he loves her so much. Ten seconds ago, she was a bundle of nerves for some reason; now she's smiling lightly as though it _really_ is Christmas morning and he hasn't really been gone for months.

Logan's grin wavers a little because it's awful being away and missing her, but—

"Come on, aren't you at least a little curious?"

"Oh _very,_ " Logan replies more so out of instinct, reaching out for her. Veronica giggles and tries to get away but Logan's holding her in place. "I wish you've told me you were planning this though,"

"Why?" Veronica asks him back daringly. "So you could've outdone me from across the world and gotten me a better present?" She's bold and serious, but deep down they both known she's fighting laughter.

Logan in any case looks thoughtful, and then nods. "Actually, yes," He answers as seriously as he can. "Exactly that," He says and it makes her burst out laughing.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't gonna happen," She replies as soon as she can catch her breath. "This year the element of surprise was mine love,"

He looks at her oddly. "Love?"

He has a point, but she can't allow it, so she shakes her head, and instead of acknowledging that, she plants her hands on his chest. "You were surprised right?" He nods making her smile. "Okay, then just let me do my thing and you may just be even _more_ surprised soon enough,"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup!" She's so chirpy and happy Logan can't help the urge to kiss her right then and there.

She giggles against his mouth and pushes him back just a little. "Merry late Christmas Lieutenant,"

For a second or two he considers a jib or something jokey to tell her back, but the words don't quite form. Instead he smiles despite the sudden lump that's formed in his throat —thoughts of losing _this,_ losing her one day suddenly plaguing his mind. He shakes it off though because there is no way he's about to ruin her surprise, so no, Logan decides not to allow those thoughts and instead he fixes a smile on his face. "Merry Christmas Veronica…" Worrying about non-existent threats would have to wait until tomorrow at least.

x

* * *

((III))

She's mad at him. _Very mad._ But in all honesty, so is Logan a little too.

Logan made a comment about Veronica maybe being overworking herself, and adding _that,_ to the fact that he is shipping out in less than a month, it wasn't really that surprising they fought.

Veronica even spent the night at the office, and Logan didn't even try to talk her out of it.

Of course now it wasn't even seven o'clock in the morning yet, and he was already parking in front of Mars Investigations in search of that infuriating detective he loves so so very much —to a fault really, but there isn't much he can do about that.

She's sleeping behind the front desk when he walks in; her upper half sprawled lazily over the top of the desk. She's using one of her arms as a pillow, her face facing sideways, but her hair messily hiding it away.

Logan smiles sadly from the doorway, before taking a quick look around making sure no one else is at the office.

He brought pastries and coffee with him, so hopefully that will do its job, and make Veronica be maybe at least a little bit less mad at him when she does wake up.

Logan has to head to work shortly if he doesn't want to be late, but he still decides against waking up Veronica just yet. Instead, quietly he takes a seat on the couch opposite the desk. He fidgets unconsciously with the bag in his hands and absentmindedly looks over at her. He can see her left hand from where he's sitting and while it makes him feel stupid, Logan is also glad to see she's still wearing his rings. The wedding was about five months ago —small, personal, quick, yet everything he could have ever asked for a wedding with _the_ Veronica Mars of all women.

She'd been more than a little hesitant at the whole thing, but she'd gone through with it anyway. And it was great…most of the times. They loved each other, and ultimately that was what kept them going.

Veronica stirs slightly eventually, and her ringed hand moves out of Logan's view, and instead she tucks it under her cheek. She's obviously exhausted _and_ overworked, but of course Logan is the asshole for worrying and pointing it out the day before.

And yeah, yeah, of course he knew she didn't mean it —not one hundred percent anyway. She was keeping herself busy, which was just how she coped, and honestly, there was no way Logan held that against her. They were both trying their best.

 _However,_ he _does_ worry she is going to make herself sick if she keeps working non-stop with as little sleep as he knew she's been having these last couple of weeks.

In the end, making himself just stop thinking all together, Logan sets down the pastries bag and drive-thru coffee and instead moves to stand behind Veronica.

He takes in a deep breath and leans down brushing her hair off her face. He thinks about it for about two seconds before just dropping a soft kiss to her cheek. Veronica doesn't wake up right away, but she stirs. Hopefully, if he's lucky, she won't know what woke her.

Logan's moved back in front of her desk by the time that she sleepily lifts her head from the desk, and looks around. She's squinting, but still sees him immediately. "Um, what're you doing here?" She asks; her voice hoarse and thick with sleep.

Logan shakes his head at her. "What do you think I'm doing here?" He asks her back snappily enough. "My wife didn't come home last night, I'm just the jerk that worries, you know?"

Veronica's quiet for a moment at that, just looking at him, but Logan's not completely sure she's listening.

He rolls his eyes before he can help it, and looks away from her after a moment.

"You really like saying that, don't you?"

Logan frowns, and looks at her like she's crazy. Now it is Veronica who rolls her eyes. " _My wife,"_ She says trying her best mock impression of him.

Logan in any case, doesn't reply but stares her down powerfully.

She sighs leaning back on her seat. "I'm okay,"

"I know that _now,"_ He snaps again but he's sorry about it almost immediately. She's looking absently at the papers on her desk, but Logan's eyes are on her. He sighs too then as he sits down on the seat opposite her. "I knew you were here, I knew you were fine, I even knew you needed the time away, but…I still don't like it," He confesses. "You might be okay, but I'm not, because _we_ are not…"

"Logan," She sighs again and shakes her head. "We are,"

"We are not," He insists simply. "You didn't come home last night, 'member?"

There's silence then that either is in any real rush to fill. She's breathing deeply and slowly, while Logan's just watching her patiently.

Eventually, Veronica's the one to speak again first. "Did you bring me coffee?"

Logan's eyes shift to hers, and after waiting a beat, he nods.

She smiles at that; faintly, barely there, but she does.

He's up from his seat before she can say anything else though. He grabs the coffee that is probably a tad too cold now, but who cares, and places it in front of her along with the bag with the pastries.

"You wanna share?" It's as much a peace offering as she's capable of right now. Logan still just looks at her sadly and she hates it, but it's not as if she can just tell him she's getting damn tired of the whole him leaving again and again on deployments, right? Never mind the fact that she is still scared shitless about it because apparently, it does _not_ get easier with time, and she's definitely _not_ getting used to just seeing him go every so often.

Logan in any case shakes his head. "I gotta run," He explains simply, knowing already she knew his work didn't care they were fighting or not. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay,"

"I am,"

"Okay,"

"Okay," Veronica nods, but everything's so far from okay she wishes she had the damn guts to just tell him.

He sighs instead and so does she. "I'll see ya later,"

"Yeah."

x

When Logan comes home that night Veronica's already there. There are Christmas carols blasting, which is a first this year so he frowns. He shouldn't be too surprised though, it'd taken her long enough to get in the Christmas spirit this year for sure, but there was no way she was going to let Christmas of all holidays go without her getting full on the spirit.

They bought the tree about a week ago but they haven't actually started decorating the thing. From his spot by the entryway, Logan can see Veronica trying in vain to properly hang some of the ornaments near the top of the tree.

Like any good tree by her, it was heavily decorated on the bottom and quite bare on top, but who was Logan to care. Instead he's smiling as he walks into the living room. He startles her a little, he can tell, but she recovers quickly.

Veronica pauses for a minute then her tree decorating, and instead turns fully to Logan, and takes in a deep breath. "I'm not sorry for not coming home last night," She says then as though this was something she's been thinking about all day and was now finally — _finally—_ letting out. Logan's eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything back yet, he knows there's a lot more coming.

"And you and I, we are not in a bad place," She says, but then rethinks it. "I don't think," She adds, and a hint of uncertainty is definitely there. She makes herself keep going anyway. "I can't do anything about you leaving, and I hate that, but I'm doing the best I can to deal with it, and if that's not good enough for you, then yeah, you are right, we are not okay, _but! —"_ She puts in when Logan opens his mouth to retort. Veronica shakes her head. "But I don't think that we are there…"

There's a small moment when neither of them says anything. Veronica eventually takes a step closer and looks up at him. "What are you thinking?"

He shrugs his shoulders, mechanically wrapping his arms around her waist, and bringing her a little closer to him. "I think…I think…" He says, and he's smiling mockingly and _that_ for some reason does the job and puts Veronica a lot more at ease. "I think that I love you dearly, but if you play _jingle bells_ one more time, I swear to God Veronica, I will strangle you…"

She chuckles and goes to bury her face on his chest, and lets him hug her to him. Veronica breathes him in and for a second then she thinks how it was possible for Logan to be so soothing to her.

Logan kisses the top of her head sweetly, and doesn't let go of her for a long time.

Veronica doesn't rush to fill the silence, but eventually when she does, she does it carefully and softly. "We are married,"

Logan pushes from her only enough to see her face, and nods. "Yeah," He knew that very well, thank you.

"But you know what that means?" She asks, but it's rhetorical. He's frowning slightly now, but she shakes her head using her hand to stroke his frown away. "It means that if something happens to you this time, _they_ are going to tell _me,"_

"Veronica,"

"It's the truth," She cuts him off. "I don't want to think about it, but this deployment…it's —you know, it's gonna be different…" A phone call. If something happened to him, it was _she_ they were obligated to call. As if obsessing over planes downing overseas wasn't enough, now she had to worry about every goddamn phone call from an unknown number.

Great.

Just great.

"I filled that worksheet you know?"

Logan looks at her a little lost at those words.

She pulls back from him completely then, and lets out a long breath. "About how I'd like to be notified if you are —um, what's the proper wording… _perished_ or _deadly injured_ , or whatever," Her words are coming harsh but it's this or breaking down, and she can't afford breaking down right now. "I told them to call me, right away, that it didn't matter, that I wanted to know as soon as they could tell me…"

"This is…" Logan says, but can't really find the words.

Veronica shrugs. "Morbid, awful, I know, I hate it too…"

" _I'm gonna be okay_ ," Logan manages to say then, but Veronica's staring at him stoically. She shakes her head.

"There's no way you can possibly know that —not for sure,"

" _I will_ come back,"

"Do you need me to repeat myself? You can't know that,"

"What do you want me to say then Veronica?"

"Nothing," She answers simply. She shrugs after a beat, and then moves closer to him again. "I think I just wanted you to know that,"

"That it is scary?"

"Yeah,"

"Okay," He says softly, holding her tight to him. "Okay…"

x

* * *

((IV))

Veronica's night was long — _too_ long which translated to virtually no sleep, and then to make matters worse, Logan wasn't even been home when she got there this morning.

She was grumpy and stressed and she didn't even have good pictures from last night to make up for the late hours.

Mars Investigations looked empty when she walked in. Nobody really got in until after eight so Veronica still had quite a few minutes to _try_ and turn her mood around —not that she was hopeful it would happen, but still…

She walked in straight to the tiny kitchen area, and grabbed the basket filled with coffee pods. She pouted at the sight of no French vanilla, but at least there were some of that coconut flavor she didn't completely hate. The Keurig was asking for water so she filled the thing up before setting her mug and deciding to just watch it as it began filling.

Logan got the office the darn coffee maker for _his_ birthday once —he claimed there was no way he could keep drinking bad coffee every time he was at Mars Investigations so a Keurig was a _necessity_. At that point, he'd already gotten one for home under the very same excuse years before as their supposed Easter treat.

Veronica liked the thing, so she didn't put up too big a fuss. Especially when her Dad so happened to _love_ the thing. It was cute even. To this day, he still would only have that classic plain flavor Veronica couldn't stand at all, but it made him happy so it was fine, she guessed.

Once her coffee was done and she made sure it tasted _okay_ with enough cream, she started making her way into her office. To say the picture of Logan behind _her_ desk surprised her, was clearly an understatement. Veronica frowned and she pointedly fixed him with a glaring look as she let her eyes trail to those filthy shoes of his on _her_ desk. "We are not open yet, you know…"

From the desk, Logan smirked at her, looking less than impressed. "I have a key remember?"

She didn't actually remember that, but that wasn't the point. "Sorry to break it to you but I could totally still talk the cops into believing this is you trespassing,"

Logan made a face at that. "That's ridiculous Veronica. I'm your husband. Who's going to believe that?"

"Oh honey," She tells him with a silly wave of her hand. "I thought you knew me better than that," She says easily, finally walking further into her office. With no more words, she walks around her desk and wraps her arms around Logan's shoulders, tilting her face just so to kiss him good morning. "Keep messing with me and I'll definitely send the cops on you —gone girl style and all if you really piss me off," She says but can't barely keep her face straight as she says that.

Logan huffs an _"as if"_ before taking her lips with his one more time.

Veronica responds instinctually and closes her eyes as her heartbeat and breathing slowly even out and just like that, her morning has improved tenfold.

"Where were you this morning?" Veronica asks him as she coaxes him out of her chair and takes his place instead.

"Had a few things to do," Logan answers vaguely enough.

Veronica looks at him suspiciously and decides to push for more of course. "What things?" She asks but instead of answering, Logan grins and shrugs his shoulder.

He sits on the opposite side of the desk and reaches for her mug of coffee taking a hearty sip —she liked her coffee lately with too much cream for his taste but he'll take it anyway. "Did you have breakfast yet?" He asks her deliberately avoiding her question.

Veronica hasn't forgotten about his non-answer, but she still can't help a reaction at _his_ question; she cringes. "Had that leftover Chinese we had in the fridge and it did not agree with my stomach thank you very much,"

"Why would you even eat _that_?" It had been there for over a week!

Veronica in any case, scrunches her face and shakes her head. "I was out all freaking night, okay Logan? I was hungry and you weren't even home to feed me," She whines.

Logan fixes his eyes on her pointedly and she knows, Veronica just knows what he's thinking because she's thinking it too.

"I sound like a spoiled brat, don't I?" She rolls her eyes at herself and shakes her head.

"You do," Logan agrees easily and ignores her glare —he'll pick on her just an itsy bitsy more before letting this go. "We have a refrigerator full with good food, you know? Just because you can survive on cereal and old take out doesn't mean you should…"

Again, she rolls her eyes and scowls at him. "I know, thanks for the tip… _Dad_ ," She bites out but there is no edge to her words at all. "And anyway, I know how to cook, we both know that, I just like it when you do it for me," She admits reluctantly enough, fighting a smile only halfheartedly.

"Lucky for you I don't really mind doing it," Logan says simply and he's still joking, but suddenly it's only partly. He means that and Veronica knows he does.

She still decides to tease him about it, and mockingly " _awwws_ " before goofily blowing him a kiss from across the desk. He rolls his eyes but the smile is still there plastered on his face.

"For the record I really do like doing that kinda stuff for you. You know that right?"

Some of the playfulness of the grin she's wearing falters as she nods. "I know,"

"I'll do everything for you if you'd only let me, you know that too, right?"

Veronica lets out a small chuckle and nods. "Yeah," She tells him. "And you'd also give me the world if I asked, right?"

"Of course," Logan replies and unlike Veronica, there was not a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

She breaths in and out slowly just looking at him and slouches on her seat. "Fine you win," She admits —he was so good disarming her, she should just stop bothering all together —trying to do so was certainly futile.

Logan in any case grins at her words. "How about I tell ya now what I'm doing here?"

"What you were doing this morning too perhaps?"

"Mm-hmm, that too..."

"Okay then, spill it," Veronica says grabbing her coffee mug from him and drinking some.

"I was getting things ready,"

"For what?" She asks quickly but then thinks it through faster than Logan can speak. "Wait? For Christmas? My presents?"

He rolls his eyes but also laughs softly. "Would you let me talk?"

She pouts and lets out a long breath. "Fine," She says, crossing her arms.

"I've decided you've been working too much and it's making you grumpy so we are just going to go away for a few days,"

"Hmm?"

Logan grins at that widely. "Your cases are driving you crazy so you are gonna let someone else take care of them and you and me," He says pointing at the two of them. "Are getting away from Cali for a few days —actually, at least two weeks if I can convince you, and we both know I have my ways with you,"

Veronica's lost in his words for all of ten seconds before she just smiles at the absurdity of it all. "Sure you do," She agrees despite everything, because hey, she wasn't about to lie right now. "But you still won't convince me," She tells him back slowly.

"Why?"

"Why? Because I have a job Logan,"

"So what? There's more people working here you know, _they_ can do it."

"No,"

"No what?"

"No everything. Are you crazy?"

"Yeah a little, but that's beside the point. We are going," He informs her cheerfully. "I packed your bags and everything already, so ciao California —it's a done deal,"

Veronica just shakes her head at that, watching him for what feels minutes until Logan gets up from his seat and walks around the desk. He takes Veronica's hands in his and helps her up too. He leans on the desk and brings her closer to him cradling her tenderly. "It's the holidays and for the first time in a while we actually have the certainty we can do anything we want without my job getting in the way. Is it so wrong that I want to indulge and take you far far away where Uncle Sam can't find me?"

He's being really sweet and honest, so Veronica chooses not to say anything back, instead of lying and saying she didn't agree 100% with him. She couldn't cave in so easily though, now could she?

"I was thinking Costa Rica, whatcha think?"

"Hmm?" She asks him again —she's slightly confused now. "I thought you said you'd already packed my bags; we don't have a destination yet?"

Her words make him grin because wow, this was easy. He kisses her nose and uses his palms to cup her face. "I want to give you the world, remember?" He asks, quoting her from a few minutes ago. "We can head right now to Paris or Africa or hell, Napa for all that I care if that's what you want okay? I just want you with me —and not working,"

And now she's fighting the urge to kiss him and melt all at the same time.

"What do you say?"

Veronica thinks about it, she actually does, and she knows it's killing him inside a little but she still doesn't speak until she knows he's about to combust if she doesn't. "I say maybe I can just convince Dad to close up shop for a few days, you know?" His grin returns in full force and she _has_ to kiss him. "Wouldn't want to waste all that packing you did, right?"

"Nope, not at all…" Logan agrees automatically. "I love you, Merry Christmas Veronica,"

"Merry Christmas."

x

* * *

 _TBC_


	2. V - VI

_**This New Life**_

* * *

 _((V))_

The attempt at Christmas at the hospital was at best, heartfelt on their part. These days Veronica has seen nurses and doctors with jolly holiday themed scrubs, Christmas hats, and big ole smiles trying to spread a little of that holiday cheer with the patients.

Their efforts were worthwhile, of course, and Veronica really did appreciate them —despite the occasional roll of the eyes, and overly deep sigh of frustration.

They had been here for a little over two weeks now; Logan had gotten two surgeries in total, and was in the recovery portion now —which was good. Which was great honestly. He was expected to recover fully and be back on his feet in no time. Or so Veronica had been told and reassured these last few days.

He'd been away for a short training drill before the holidays —he was supposed to be back with plenty of time to spend Christmas and New Years with her, and yet something about an engine catching fire, some faulty equipment, an emergency landing, and one too many injuries later, their holiday plans had changed dramatically.

He was okay though —or as well as could be expected. His injuries had been _mostly_ minor and besides almost giving Veronica a heart attack at the again oh-so very present fear of losing him so unexpectedly, everything was _okay_ now.

They were spending their holidays in the hospital though.

At least the folks here tried, Veronica thought. The halls were decorated as best as possible, and while she was sure no one would choose to spend the holidays here voluntarily, most everybody around her was definitely trying to squeeze the best out of their situation no matter how sucky.

It was past midnight now, and Logan's hospital room was mostly dark when she walked in. She did it carefully and quietly, not wanting to wake him up in case he was sleeping. After he came out of surgery the second time, he was on and off sleeping for the better part of three days. He had been mostly awake during the day these last couple of days, but he was still getting tired easily, and was definitely in a bit of pain even if he would never admit that to Veronica.

She tiptoed into the room, watching Logan's form in the bed for any sign that he was either awake or still sleeping —he didn't stir so Veronica was thinking still sleeping. Which was good honestly, he needed his rest if he wanted to heal as quickly as she knew he was hoping to.

Sighing slightly Veronica sets down her things on the bed next to Logan's. There had been no human power strong enough to make Veronica actually sleep on that second bed, but hey, the extra space in the double room Logan had was kind of nice. She still would rather uncomfortably sleep with him in his single bed, than without him.

 _Nope_ , that just wasn't an option. And truthfully, she knew Logan didn't mind, and most likely even preferred her with him too than on the other bed, so it didn't matter.

If the accident had been scary for her, it had been tenfold more for him, she was sure.

Out of the corner of her eye Veronica sees then the giant stuffed dog with a cozy red scarf she got Logan from the gift shop a couple days ago. It's was ginormous but she fell in love with the thing as soon as she saw it. They weren't allowed to keep a Christmas tree in his room, not even the tiny fake one she kept from that one Christmas a few years ago, so instead Veronica had printed out a poster size picture of their Christmas tree last year, and had set it on one corner of the room. Mister Giant Stuffed Dog was set at the feet of the picture, and Veronica couldn't help smiling when her eyes landed on the thing.

It wasn't the Christmas she planned at all, but it was still a Christmas _with_ Logan so that alone automatically made it a good one.

"Hey,"

The voice startled Veronica undoubtedly, but the soft smile fixed on her face quicker than it took her eyes to shift to find Logan looking in her direction.

He slowly shifted on the bed so that his body was angled in her direction. "What do you got there?" He asks her, motioning with his chin toward her hands.

Veronica holds her stare on him for a moment before trailing her eyes down his body and the stupid IV lines and machines still connected in some way to him. She shrugs in the end, slowly shifting her eyes back upwards. "Milkshake…" She answers easily. "You know, hospital cafeteria food is still food…24/7," She adds smirking just a little. "I'm not complaining,"

Logan smiles at her words and then gestures her to move closer to him, which Veronica does without giving it any thought. She just moves because she needs it too, she needs him close, she needs to make sure for the one thousandth time that he _is_ okay, and _here,_ and not dead or lost at sea somewhere.

In the end, Veronica sits beside him on his small hospital bed. He's grinning at her, and while she's desperate to match it, she decides to first just pull him closer to her and fall into him enough to brush her lips against his. Logan's reaction is instant and before they can fully process it, they are kissing and the outside word's fading quickly around them. An echo of _he'sokayhe'sokayhe'sokayhe'sokay_ is nonstop looping in Veronica's mind. She can't stop it, and truthfully, she's not even sure she wants to.

She pulls back slowly first, not really wanting to, but at the same time needing to see his face —that glint of contentment in his eyes, that grin of accomplishment on his face, just… _see him._ It's then that she matches the grin too and finally breathing feels a little easier. _He **is** okay._

"We have got to stop meeting like this,"

"Oh, I know," She agrees playfully. "People at this joint are going to start thinking I don't have a life outside you, huh?" She's smiling, and mostly joking, but by now Logan is indeed an expert hearing the words she's not saying — _not interested in a life without you, pal._ "Do you wanna share my milkshake?" Her questions comes light then and Logan welcomes it with a smile pushing aside the thoughts of this narrowly missed catastrophe.

"I'm good actually," He tells her simply anyway. "Thank you,"

"Mm-hmm," Veronica answers, and sighs. It was late, and she was tired, but she knew sleep wasn't going to show its sweet face any time soon. She still breathes deeply and closes her eyes momentarily when Logan uses his arm to pull her closer to him.

Veronica breathes him in and while it's not one hundred percent _him,_ the smell of hospital mixed in there she knows, it is still _him_ and it's comforting.

"Um," Logan begins after a few moments of silence.

Veronica doesn't pull away completely, but does chin up and open her eyes.

He continues. "I kinda wanted to talk to you about something earlier,"

Her first instinct is not to panic surprisingly, but Veronica still feels a bit wary about whatever he wants to tell her. She twists her lips suspiciously, but still shoots him a playful enough " _Go ahead,_ " encouraging him to start talking.

He takes a deep breath slowly, and can't help but look apologetically. "It's about this, all of this," Logan starts, one of his hands gesturing to the room. "It's the holidays, and I'm just, you know, I'm just sorry Veronica, I know how much you enjoy this time of the year,"

She narrows her eyes at him, because of all things; Logan apologizing was not one that was computing easily. She sits up properly then before looking at him square in the eye. "What?" She asks him back, and she's shaking her head a little at him, but also smiling hoping to reassure him that way too —he really should _not_ be apologizing. Was he crazy?

"I'm sorry V," He says, "We were supposed to—"

"Shhh," Veronica coos, shaking her head a little bit more strongly this time. She brings her hands up to his face, and brings their foreheads together. "It's okay, I don't care," She promises him in a whisper. "You are hurt, but you are okay, and that's really all I care about," She says, and while Logan is not completely sure he believes that, he's at least listening intently. "Who cares about overly commercialized holidays anyway?"

"You do," Logan replies automatically.

She looks down guiltily, but the smile on her face hasn't falter in the slightest. "It doesn't matter to me," She insists anyway.

"I'm still sorry,"

"I know," She tells him with a shrug. "But it's fine, don't worry…I'm not," She promises, and plants a sweet peck on his lips. Then she smiles when their eyes meet. "I'll be back next year with a vengeance —just you wait. The holidays will not know what hit 'em until is too late, you'll see. It's going to be awesome." She says, before pecking his lips once more. "Besides, who's to say I didn't need the break from the cookie cutters, the perfectly wrapped presents, and the Christmas cards?" She asks him as seriously as she can muster. "The universe wanted me to take a break, I'm just gonna go with it,"

"Yeah, because that's so very you, huh?"

She shrugs at his words, and tries so very hard not to grin at that amused smirk on his face. "I'll let you know, I'm a being in constant evolution, Logan,"

"Yeah, yeah, I know," He agrees with a roll of his eyes, yet also a smile on his face. "Merry Hospital Christmas to you,"

She grins at that, and leans in for a kiss —another one. "Merry Hospital Christmas _to you_ Lieutenant Echolls," She punctuates her words with another quick kiss before continuing. "What a delight is to have you with us."

"Likewise,"

x

* * *

 _((VI))_

The discussion not to reenlist wasn't an easy one; not that Veronica ever thought it was going to be, but the reality was that getting something she _really_ wanted —him not reenlisting— wasn't nearly as satisfying as she once thought it was going to be.

Logan liked his job for one thing.

He loved it actually.

And really, she was feeling like an awful asshole for taking that from him.

So yeah, not fun.

But he was home now though.

And he was safe.

Still, deep down she feared he just wasn't… _happy._

And truly, that was the very last thing in the world she wished.

At this point, Logan was scheduled to deploy in three months, around March he told her, but by now Veronica knew that day could well be moved to June or July, or heck, a few weeks from now.

They didn't know.

They never truly ever did know anything for sure.

Only now, they did know one thing —it was his last deployment. After that, there would be no more. He was through. His contract was through and he had no intentions to come back.

Or so Logan kept telling himself _and_ Veronica.

And it sucked, because it wasn't as though she could tell him to keep going if he wanted, to change his mind if he wanted, because the relief she felt when he made his mind at last was the most peaceful and calm she had felt in…years almost. No more deployments. No more life threating situations by choice for him…yeah, that was something she agreed with right away.

And yet, and yet here she was unable to fully enjoy the situation any longer because it was _not_ what he wanted, and she just knows it. Although Logan probably doesn't, but Veronica does, and she can't help feeling like such a fraud for letting him quit even when she knows in her heart of hearts that was the last thing he wanted, and hell, maybe even needed.

"Veronica…"

Nothing.

"Um, Veronica…Veronica…Veronica!"

"Jesus, what?!" She really wasn't irritated at Hunter —not really, she was irritated at herself, but since screaming at her own person would make her look like a loony, snapping at her little brother was the next best thing.

"Um, nothing," He says confused.

"What's with the calling then?" She asks him back, but Hunter is quietly trying to figure her out instead of answering right away.

He shrugs. "Nothing," He says in the end. Veronica is not usually like this —at all. Hunter has seen her grumpy at times when he's visiting, but he's never seen her so annoyed for no reason —that he knows about that is. "Are you okay?"

At his question, Veronica actually stops to think about it —no, she wasn't okay really, but— "Yeah, sure I'm fine," She answers anyway, offering a nod. "Are _you_ okay? Do you need anything? A drink or something?"

"Nope, I'm good," Hunter replies simply. "Thank you," He adds quietly, "Veronica?"

"Yes?" Again her tone carries a bit more irritated than she actually feels —toward Hunter anyway.

He stands from his spot on her couch, and moves closer to her desk. "Maybe I can go home?" He proposes, but Veronica just looks at him. "I can go walk Pony, take her to the beach for a while…"

This was really a new low for Veronica when walking her dog and picking up her doggie poo was more fun to Hunter than hanging out with her. In the end, she just sighs though. "Sure, go ahead…" She tells him softly and he starts to turn around right away. "Wait, Hunter!"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry,"

"'Bout what?"

"You are supposed to be having a good time down here with us,"

"I am,"

"I know," Veronica answers softly. "What I mean, is that my head is everywhere right now. I'm kinda worried about Logan,"

"Why? Is he okay?"

"Oh he is honey," She assures him quickly. "It's just, well, he's deploying soon, so I just, I worry,"

"He's one of the bests you know?"

She can't help laughing at that one of course —that was something Logan had been telling the kid since he was little. "I know,"

"Nothing's gonna happen to him,"

"Oh you have no idea how much I want to believe that,"

"Then you just should."

"Maybe I should…huh?"

"Yeah." Hunter replies with a smile, and a strong nod of his head. "It's also his last one right? That's what you said?"

"Yeah, if all goes well, this would be his last time on the ship for a while…a long long while maybe,"

"So that's good right?"

"Yeah," In theory. In theory, it was the best thing ever, yet…

"He's not worried is he?"

"No, don't think so,"

"Then I don't think you should,"

For a few seconds Veronica actually thinks over his words. "I know, I know…" She says in the end. "Anyway, you can get going. I just wanted you to know that you are not doing anything wrong —I'm just trying to deal with all of this, okay?"

"Okay,"

"Okay,"

"See you at home, Veronica! Can you—"

"Sure sure, I can pick up some Chinese for dinner? Sounds good?"

"Yeah, thanks! See you later!"

x

"Hey, are you okay?" She's just woken up from what she was sure was a nightmare.

She's startled but still nods her head sleepily, trying to gather her surroundings. "Yeah," Veronica answers, but she's not yet fully awake. "What? What time is it?"

"Um," Logan says arching his head to catch the bedside clock. "A quarter after three…"

Veronica rubs her eyes, willing herself to wake up a little more, and make sense of what happened and why she was awake, and why _Logan_ was awake.

The cold sweat behind her neck was an outright sign though; it didn't take her much longer then to put the puzzle pieces together.

"I'm sorry, Logan," Veronica says, because she really wasn't sure what else to tell him.

He looks at her oddly and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He uses his long fingers to brush the sticky hair off her face, and tenderly leans in placing soft butterfly kisses on her skin.

He shakes his head at her when their eyes meet. "Why are you apologizing?"

Veronica's not sure she knows, so she just buries her face on his chest for yet another moment. It's quiet, and all she wants to concentrate on is Logan stroking the back of her head.

Eventually she speaks, but it comes out muffled, so Logan coaxes her gently to pull back a little from him. "You keep dying on me…" She repeats, and this time Logan hears her loud and clear.

He can't help narrowing his eyes though. "What? What are you talking about?"

Veronica sits up a little better then, and just shrugs. "It's a dream," She explains. "I keep having it. I don't even know where I am, but this lady keeps showing up when I open a door, and she's telling me you are gone, and God, I can't stop it, I try and try, but nothing works, you keep dying on me…time and again,"

"Oh Veronica,"

There are tears clouding her vision now, but Veronica hopes Logan won't be able to tell given the room is still dark.

"You know I'm gonna be okay, right?"

"Mm-hmm," Veronica replies automatically. "I mean, yeah, that's what you keep telling me, and so far you've come back, but what if this is the time when you just _aren't_? What if something _does_ happen this time?" They were so close to end this nightmare, to have him home for good, _and safe_ , but what if this last deployment _is_ the last, and she doesn't ever see him again?

The fear she feels just _thinking that_ is damn near paralyzing and she wants it to stop, she doesn't want to think like that, she just wants to send him off like she has in the past and then have him back in six months' time, and then finally put all this behind them.

But she can't, because she can't stop picturing the worst case-scenario, and it's driving her crazy.

And all _that,_ on top to the feeling that Logan's giving up the best thing in his life because of her.

It's only then that she feels she has to guts to just ask him already. "Do you really wanna do this?"

"What?" He knows what she's asking, but he wants her to say it anyway.

"The Navy –quit?"

"Oh," He was right.

"Yeah, that's what I thought,"

"What? No! What are _you_ saying?"

"You don't really wanna do this, do you? You don't really wanna give it up, but you are doing it, because you think that's what I want, and you know, it is what I want, but Logan, I…I don't want you to wake up one day and hate me for this,"

"Veronica,"

"No," She stops him. "I don't want you to regret it, and blame me,"

"I wouldn't do that, never."

Veronica looks at him with a scowl, and shakes her head. "How do you know that?"

"I do, I just do,"

"No,"

"No what?"

"No, that's not good enough." She tells him, and while she thinks she's not being childish, she is, but maybe she's just too overwhelmed to think straight.

Logan rolls his eyes at her. "Then what, you want me to reenlist?"

"I didn't say that!"

"Then what did you say?"

"Nothing!" Veronica spats, and for a moment neither says a word.

Logan knew she had been sulking about something these last few days, but he didn't know she had been questioning _again_ his decision not to renew his contract with the Navy.

He sighs after a few minutes, and turns so that he's looking at her properly. "Veronica," He calls her name softly. She turns to him, but she's still frowning. "I thought we were done with this conversation,"

"Honestly, me too…"

"But…"

"I don't know," She answers honestly. "Are you happy?"

"What?" She has got to be messing with him right? How can she ask that?

"I mean it actually; are you happy? Will it be enough for you?"

Huh. "You mean, will _you_ be enough?" Which was yes, a million times yes, but…

"No, I didn't say that. I asked if, everything in your life —as a whole, everything that doesn't include the Navy, will it be enough?"

"I don't know," Logan answers honestly too. "I mean, Veronica, really, I don't know. I haven't known anything but the Navy for a very long time. It's going to be an adjustment. I can tell you that."

"What if you realize quitting is not what you want?"

"Then I guess we'll deal with that then, although…"

"What?"

"Nothing, I just don't know where you are coming from —I didn't decide to not reenlist lightly. I've thought about this, you know?"

She's looking at him, but she's not convinced and he can tell. Logan sighs, and tenderly starts running his thumb over the skin of her wrist. "I really thought we've covered all this already,"

"'Parently not…"

"Listen, you didn't choose the navy —at any point in time, _I did_."

"That doesn't—"

"It does have something to do," Logan insists, cutting her off. "With everything," He adds pointedly. "You didn't choose this life for yourself —I did, and you, you joined me halfway and it meant everything to me. It still means _everything_ to me. I know it's not easy, it hasn't been easy for you or me at all, but you know, we've done it…" He shrugs, and offers her a little smile because he really did believe it was a big deal —he would have never thought _they_ of all people would be able to work out a relationship like the one they have these days, but they had, and that was pretty freaking awesome in Logan's book. "We could keep doing it, I know we could, but…I don't want that. That's why I made the decision that I made. Because _I_ don't want to have to keep doing this anymore." He's stressing every word making sure his point is made.

"I'm done with active duty Veronica, and it is for you, but it is also for me…the Navy's been my home for years now, but Veronica, I want to be _here —_ and not just some months, I want to be here period," He explains.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He answers quickly. "I am doing this for me because _it is_ what I want, so just…trust me, okay?"

"I do," Veronica promises. "I do, of course I do…" She insists. "But what if you don't like it?"

Logan rolls his eyes at that because yeah, of course she's not _completely_ happy with his answers yet. "Then I don't like it —that's just life, 'ronica…We don't have to absolutely love everything, do we?"

She looks at him skeptically.

"Veronica,"

She rolls her eyes at that one. "Yeah, I guess…"

"So…?" Logan says tentatively. "Are we done with this conversation now?"

"Mm-hmm,"

"Good, it's about time," He says easily, and smirks at her before kissing her deeply for a moment. When he pulls back, he looks into her eyes. "It didn't really occur to you I wasn't reenlisting for myself and not just you, huh?"

Guiltily, Veronica looks away from him and shakes her head.

Logan chuckles. "I figured," He tells her easily, before growing a bit more serious again. "Now, onto those dreams of yours, I don't really know what to tell you, only that you are _not_ losing me any time soon, Veronica. I _am_ coming back, and you'd better get ready because I plan on taking my sweet time with you before venturing back into the real world, okay?"

"You are ridiculous,"

"Eh…so what?" Logan says, shrugging. "No, but seriously, I…I'm good at my job Ronnie, but I promise to be ten times more careful if that's what it takes to put you a bit more at ease, okay?"

"Okay…"

"Okay," Logan repeats. "Ya wanna go to sleep now, or you know…we could _celebrate_ Christmas a little, and I could give you a present two days early?"

Her interest is definitely piqued, and her wiggly eyebrows are proof of that. "Hey how can I say no to that?! What is it?"

Logan chuckles, and not so very gently pulls her down on their bed. He hovers on top of her, and grins. "Well, sexin' ya up, what else?"

"Logan!" She whines but isn't even trying to move away.

"What? As if I'm kidding!" He replies trying hard not to laugh at the fit of chuckles Veronica seems to be having right that minute. "Veronica Mars, I'll let you know I'm serious, so stop," He commands, but she's so not listening.

Logan rolls his eyes and in the end drops beside her on the bed. "You are impossible," He declares, but there's a huge grin on his face as he said that.

Veronica calms down slightly after a few moments, and turns to him. She scooches closer to Logan and uses her fingers to stroke his face. "I love you," She promises suddenly. "I love you _so_ much, so just be safe, okay?"

"Okay…" Logan says, and leans in placing a kiss on her lips. A soft moan escapes Veronica and Logan quirks an eyebrow looking at her. "Sex ya up now Ronnie?"

She rolls her eyes but there is no way she's stopping him again. She wraps her arms around his shoulders bringing him closer to her, and she nods. "It _is almost_ Christmas after all, no?"

"Oh yeah, definitely," Logan's half gone by then, but he still replies. He kisses her again, strongly this time, and Veronica reacts instantly kissing him back. "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!" He mutters breathlessly against her mouth and she whines.

"Joking portion of the night's over Logan," She whispers, and moves so that his back is to the bed now, and she's the one hovering. "If this is my first present, you better make it worth my while,"

He's grinning widely, almost so that it's hurting him, but he doesn't care one bit. "Oh I will…I will…"

x

* * *

 _TBC_


	3. VII - VIII - IX

_**This New Life**_

* * *

((VII))

Logan lets her sleep in like every year, but this time the difference is that she doesn't complain when she wakes up. Not one bit.

She walks into the living room, looking not at all rested, yet one hundred percent hot, sexy, _and_ fucking adorable at the same time.

She's rubbing her eyes, and willing them to focus in her closest vicinity. Logan's by the kitchen bar, head tilted, just watching her.

She frowns when he's not on the couch as she expected him to be. She pouts then and Logan can't help the hiccup of laughter that escapes him.

"Not so Merry Christmas to you?" He tries lightly, but the pout is still there.

She plops herself on the couch, and closes her eyes leaning back. "C'mere," She mumbles sleepily.

Logan takes a couple more sips from his coffee before grabbing it and getting up from the stool. He walks slowly to the living room, and sets gently beside Veronica. She turns to him, and he offers her his mug. "Coffee?" He says with a smile, but she scrunches her face, and mumbles " _Pass_ ," before curling her legs up on the couch and snuggling close to Logan.

She closes her eyes again and feels as Logan sets the coffee mug in front of them on the small table, and then focuses in holding her to him.

They stay like this for a few minutes, enough that their breathing somehow synchs and they are both suddenly fighting sleep.

It's past nine in the morning, which is unprecedented for a Christmas morning —at least the ones Logan has gotten to spend with Veronica. Christmas Eve she always says excitedly how she's going to be up before him and beat him to open all of ' _Santa's presents'_

She's never actually woken up before him to this day —but today she definitely slept in more than is usual for Christmas Morning.

Logan blinks heavily and slowly, because maybe he should have stayed in bed with her for a little while longer. She's warm beside him, breathing deeply and simply just giving him that feeling of tranquility only Veronica can. He kisses the top of her head, and a moment later her hand shifts up to rub on her eyes. "I'm sleepy,"

"Why, don't say," Logan says, good-naturedly, giving her yet another kiss. "We can go back to bed," He offers then, but Veronica's quiet.

When she does open her eyes and is looking up at him, she shakes her head. "Is Christmas morning," She reminds him needlessly. "I want my presents,"

"'Course you do," He scoffs, but she shakes her head and puts her palm to his mouth.

"Shush it, don't be a jerk, don't make fun of me," She insists childishly as he laughs against her hand. She pouts at him before letting go and crossing her arms in front of her. "I mean it, gimme my presents,"

He laughs for a little bit longer, enough for Veronica to pinch his stomach to get him to stop, but then he straightens up. "Fine fine," He complies, kissing her one more time, before slowly getting off the couch. "Your wish is my command,"

"Should be…" Veronica shrugs, moving from the couch to sit by him on the floor. "Like always,"

He looks over at her knowingly at that —she _knew_ her wishes _were_ in fact his command, at least 99.5 percent of the time. There were _very_ few things Logan ever said no to Veronica, so really, this was a moot point. "Don't go there," He tells her easily before reaching for one of the presents.

Veronica scowls at it. It's not the biggest, or even better wrapped, is just a small-ish, square-ish looking present. "Why am I opening that one first?"

"Grumpy much?" He asks back, and she frowns.

"Fine, give it," She grumbles back anyway, taking the present from him. "There's no way any of your presents is better than my best one this year though —I'm in to win," She warns him, surprisingly completely serious before the anticipation of actually opening her first present sets in, and she grins.

"I wasn't aware it was a competition," Logan says then anyway, and of course less than ten seconds later, she's looking at him, and glaring slightly.

"Please," She says scoffing. She shakes her head, and focuses again in the present she's holding. "So far you've had a pretty nice track record, but it's about time I claim my first place again…"

"Whatever you say Veronica," Logan tells her, because really, whatever she did say was what counted. He certainly wasn't delusional enough to pretend she wasn't number one in their household after all this time.

It wasn't as if Logan minded in the end anyway.

"Hey, this is nice," Veronica chirps after a small moment. She's finished unwrapping the present by now, and is holding a small decorative canvas with the words _All of me, loves all of you,_ written on it. "I like it, thank you," She says, looking at Logan, and while for a small moment he's confused at that sudden shift in her mood, he decides not to care and instead he smiles at her.

"Glad you like it," He answers softly, and Veronica matches his smile.

"Your turn now, go ahead, open one of mine…"

x

This year is not intentionally that they forget about their stockings until the last possible moment. Keith came in knocking on their door around eleven and stayed with them until well after four in the afternoon after happily sharing brunch with them, cookies — _lots and lots of cookies_ , and doing a little more gift exchanging.

He is gone now, but Veronica's still sitting at the table, picking on some leftover apple pie while Logan clears up the table a little. Keith offered to help of course, but Logan didn't let him. That in Veronica's book meant _he_ was doing the cleaning tonight.

She smiles mischievously at him from her seat, as she takes another spoonful of pie. "Make a girl's night?"

Logan doesn't answer, but raises his brows. She grins. "Some vanilla ice-cream?"

He pretends to be annoyed at the request but even so, he marches in the direction of the refrigerator without complaining. Pony pads her way behind him and she's of course disappointed when the treat he's getting is not for her. She whines a little, and Logan pets her, yet he makes his way back with the ice-cream rather quickly, Veronica notes. "Thank you," She says mocking sweetness, looking right into his eyes.

"Of course," He says as he picks up clearing the table from some plates and leftover food.

Once Veronica's finished eating a few minutes later and is carrying her plate to the sick, Logan stops her midway, catching her from behind, and circling his arms around her waist protectively.

He sighs against her skin, and closes his eyes resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Hey you," Veronica whispers, turning ever so slightly to look at him over her shoulder.

"Merry Christmas," He whispers back, making Veronica smile.

She turns in his arms, and finds a way to wrap her own arms around him. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" Logan drawls out, softly. He presses sweet silly kisses on her face and she's smiling because he's sweet and silly like this a lot sometimes, and she likes it.

"Hey Logan,"

"Yeah," He answers absently, but Veronica doesn't speak until he's properly looking at her. She's grinning. "What?"

"We haven't opened our stockings yet," She reminds him simply.

His eyebrows knit a little, and she knows he had forgotten about them.

Veronica's smile grows about two sizes as she starts in the direction of the fireplace, her hand holding onto his as Logan trails behind her.

This year's holiday theme was ' _inspirational' —_ or Veronica's way of mocking Logan's liking of inspirational quotes.

Not to be outdone by her mockery though, Logan took it upon himself to find the best present to fit Veronica's so-called _theme._

He ended up making it himself. This year Logan decided to fill jar after jar with his best inspirational quotes yet to give Veronica. Some of the words were even his own invention, so he was taking some pride in his _handmade_ stocking stuffers this year.

Once Veronica opened her stocking, she was in fact impressed with his jars of words, which really wasn't too surprising —it was an awesome present.

"Your turn," Veronica says eventually, after she's done reading as many of the inspirational quotes Logan wrote as she could digest right then.

She hands him his stocking with a cheery silly smile, but she's not really meeting his eyes. Logan frowns a little as he takes the stocking from her. "What's wrong?"

"Um, nothing," She drawls out slowly.

Logan narrows his eyes on her, but doesn't say anything else. Instead, brings his attention to his bright red and green stocking, and with a silly smile starts digging.

Inside there's an _Inspiration_ mini-book from Barnes and Noble he already owns, but who cares, it's not as if he's going to tell Veronica that now. " _Enjoy the journey…"_ Logan reads then from a mug he just took from his stocking. "Nice, I like it Ronnie," He says, and she simply nods and smiles back at him.

"Let's see, what else is in here," He says then, using his hand to rummage through the things still in the stocking. Next he brings up a small white carton box. He opens it to find a brand new dog tag. " _Everything you want is on the other side of fear…_ " He reads. "Nice,"

"I know," Veronica replies snuggly, because what the hell, she did do after all a whole lot of Etsy scouting to get him just the right little gifts with just the right quotes.

Logan matches her smile, and blows a kiss her way then just because. After that he gets from his stocking a handful of colorful pencils. He tilts his head then notices the small wordings written by the top of each pencil. " _Be happy,"_ He starts reading them one by one. " _Be bright, stay humble, seize the day, inspire yourself, Oh…happy day…"_ He's of course using dramatic inflections for the sake of making her laugh, and its working, so he smiles a little widely himself.

He takes a few more things from the stocking after that, including cupcake toppers with the word _Dream_ that Logan of course needs to point out he'll _never_ use, but Veronica so would, so he wasn't sure she put it in the right stocking.

Veronica rolled her eyes at that, and instead of letting him take more of his stuffers out, she decides she's had enough and he's not finding the one she _really_ wants him to find. "Here!" She says finally finding _the one._

Logan's looking at her oddly of course, but she doesn't care. "Take it," She orders. "Open it," She says then after Logan has taken the small-ish white envelope.

In Veronica's handwriting, it read on the outside _I make awesome things,_ and while amused, Logan can't help but feel confused too. "Okay…" He says slowly, briefly meeting her eyes.

She's biting on her thumbnail and it dawns on him she's nervous.

"Open it," She demands from him, before a bubble of laughter escapes at his face. "That's my best present," She says. " _I think_ ," She adds quickly with a hint of hesitation when he meets her eye again.

"On with it then," Logan says playfully as he carefully opens the envelope.

There's complete silence between them then all of a sudden.

There's only one thing inside the envelope, another piece of paper, it feels thin in his hands, and at first Logan's not sure what he's looking at —at all. But then it clicks, suddenly, and he can almost feel the air getting stuck in his throat.

"It's making me soft," Veronica says softly, breaking the silence. Logan looks at her, but he's looking confused, or maybe shocked, or maybe he's still just processing the small picture in his hands. "The fetus," She smiles, pointing at the baby picture with her finger. "I know this is mushy and corny, I should of just told you, but…" She pauses, shrugging, her own eyes shifting to the blank and white piece of paper he's still holding. "Well, it doesn't matter anymore anyway, now you know —I'm pregnant,"

His eyes widen yet again when she says that. It's becoming more and more real by the second, and it's stupid, he has the picture, the irrefutable evidence of this in his hands, and yet it doesn't compute in his brain —this, a baby? Him? Veronica? What?

"Logan?" She tries tentatively, and yet the smile on her face for some reason is still there.

His eyes shoot up to meet hers, but he's still unable to speak. He swallows hard, his fingers pressing on the edges of the sonogram picture. Inwardly he thinks for a second that Veronica wouldn't want him to wrinkle the picture, but the thought is short lived. He holds onto the sonogram even stronger now, and allows his eyes to trail down to it one more time.

The words on the upper left corner read the name of their hospital, and Veronica's name; it was tiny writing, so he squints his eyes to make sure, but yeah, that's Veronica's name all right. The letters underneath her name he has no idea what they mean —there are numbers too, but his brain is still half asleep or something because, nope, he has no idea what all that little writing says.

Okay, so a baby, but… "Um, I, wh—how?"

Veronica's eyebrows rise playfully at that one. Fine, if he really wants her to go there, she will. She shrugs at him. "Uh, Hawaii, 'member? We had, um, _fun_ those five days,"

"Oh," Is all Logan can say in return.

Veronica's smiling; smiling widely because he's so shocked and he looks stupid but it's also cute she thinks. His squadron had been in port in Hawaii for about a week two months ago. At that point they hadn't seen each other in over five months. They didn't plan it for her to meet him there, but things happened in a way that she'd jumped on the first plane there she could find.

Logan had been home less than two weeks now, and Veronica had been keeping the secret all to herself in hopes to see that very clueless, shocked, yet also excited look on his face he had right now.

And it's Christmas, so she figured she would make it all the more special for him. _And_ her too if she's honest to herself.

"So _this_ is why you've been so sick?" Logan speaks at last. He's pointing at the sonogram picture, still with rather wide eyes.

Veronica gives him an odd look but still shrugs. "I guess," She answers. "What do you think?" She asks him then before Logan can say anything else. "It's…a lot, right?"

"Um?"

And then for the first time today, she truly feels a little uneasy about telling him. "You know, you just got back, it was your last tour, and it's going to take time getting used to _that,_ but now this is happening too, and…I don't know, it's…a lot, a lot is changing…"

Logan tilts his head at her, listening, and then just smiles softly in her direction. "That's not necessarily a bad thing,"

"Is not?"

He shakes his head. "Hardly,"

"How is that, huh?"

He shrugs a shoulder. "Well, for starters, you did announce this as my best Christmas present, so I gather you are okay with it?"

Veronica's quiet for a small moment at that —she was, but she hadn't been asked if she was by anyone yet, "I am," She says. "So are ya?"

"Yeah," Unlike her, Logan doesn't need to think about it much. "You are right, _a lot_ is changing, but that's not _bad_ , I don't think,"

Veronica is slowly starting to smile again which tells Logan he's in the right track with his words.

"And think about it, it wasn't as if you and I were ever going to agree to purposely have a kid, so I…I'm glad this happened,"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, definitely,"

And the best part is that she believes him. "Okay," She says, but then a chuckle escapes Logan suddenly, and Veronica goes back to frowning.

"No, it's nothing, just picturing it,"

"What?"

"This, the baby," Logan says, still not quite believing it completely. "Our kid," He adds, and just saying _those words_ felt so damn surreal. "Holy crap," He says picking up the ultrasound again. "I can't believe we made one of these guys…"

Veronica chuckles, and when Logan looks at her, she's smiling that kind of smile that could possibly break her face, but the hell with everything, this actually felt right.

"You were right, best Christmas ever, I love you, I…," His sentence dies as his eyes return to the picture —it's like a magnet, he thinks. "Merry Christmas little guy," He says before swallowing the huge lump that formed in his throat.

His eyes shift and meet Veronica's over the picture, and she's still smiling at him. "Could be a girl, ya know?"

Logan nods as he quickly moves so that he's right beside her. He cups her face and just stares at her mouth for the longest time.

"Logan," Veronica says, her voice came in a breathy whine.

Logan jumps a little at her voice, and shifts his eyes to hers. "Yeah?"

"You are gonna kiss me right?"

"Yeah," He says, but still doesn't move.

"Logan,"

"Yeah?"

"I don't know how we are gonna do this either, but it's going to be okay, right? Is just a kid?"

Her words are warm, and exactly what he needed to hear. He smiles at her and nods. " _Our_ kid though, the little shit is probably going to rule us by age two,"

It's the wrong thing to tell her, but she still loves it —loves him for it. "You are awful," She says, and Logan shrugs.

"I'm gonna kiss you now,"

Veronica lets out a breathy chuckle, and just nods. He's sloppy at first, but so is she a little, and honestly, she doesn't care. Once things start getting a little heavier and steamier between them Logan has the decency to remind her how this was just what got them here in the first place.

Veronica's by then beyond the point where forming proper words is an option so in the end she can just muster a mumbled _"Don't stop, please don't stop…"_ and thankfully for her, Logan doesn't.

"Merry Christmas."

x

* * *

((VIII))

"Mommy, mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

Mind you, the first time Sally called her _Mama_ Veronica admittedly had cried —her love for that little human knew no bounds so hearing that little word from her tiny self had knocked the air out of her and she'd ended up in tears.

That'd been over two years ago though, and in that time Veronica had surely heard every single variation from the word _mother_ that Sally had thought off.

Nobody could really hold it against Veronica for not wanting to hear Sally calling for her — _waking her—_ so early this morning, right?

"Mommy! Mom! Santa came! He came!" Sally's shouts are piercing as she bounces on top of Veronica, trying her hardest to wrap her tiny arms around her.

Veronica had been out cold, and while her little girl wasn't all that heavy, the sudden weight on top of her wasn't especially welcome.

"Sal!" Veronica whines, but still flips around on her back, so that it is at least easier to hold that daughter of hers in her arms.

Veronica squints, only the bedside lamp is on, but it still feels too darn bright for her eyes. "What times it is?"

"Mommy he came! There are presents downstairs!"

"That's so good Sal, sweetie…" Veronica says although her eyes are desperately looking for Logan —he's the guiltiest party, she knows it! "Time Logan?"

And sure enough, Logan then looks at her from the doorway apologetically. "Almost 6,"

" _Sally_! Buddy, it's _so_ early!"

"It's not Mommy! Santa came!"

The smile Sally was wearing was so big, even Veronica in her full on morning grouchiness can't resist it. She sighs. "Go pee, alright, then we can go downstairs and see what Santa brought,"

"Really?"

"Yes sweet girl, go now," She says helping Sally off the bed. Veronica waits until the kid is out of the room, before _glaring_ at Logan. "It's six am Logan!" Sally usually didn't get out of her room in the mornings; _they_ had to get her. Even if she woke up, she still didn't come out, which was nice and yet Logan had gotten her this morning in spite of them agreeing last night they would open presents at seven thirty which was Sal's usual wake up time.

"She's been up for about an hour, Veronica. I could hear her; I was feeling awful for her,"

Veronica slouches on the bed, and sighs deeply. "Did you make me coffee?" She asks him then sweetly, sticking out her lip in a pout.

Logan chuckles slightly, and nods his head. "Of course,"

"I love you,"

"I know."

x

Less than ten minutes later, the three of them were downstairs, Sally running around like a crazy little chicken trying to decide which present she wanted to open first, while Logan and Veronica just watch her from the kitchen bar sipping from their coffees.

Logan smiles when Sally tries her very best to get Pony to run around with her, but despite the child's best efforts, Pony sets on her doggy bed, and decides to just watch Sally like them.

Logan was about to say something about it even being too early for Pony, when he notices the frown Veronica's wearing. "Something's wrong?"

It takes a moment, but a few seconds later, she snaps out of it, and smiles at Logan. "No, nothing," Veronica says, taking a sip of her perfect coffee. "It's," She says then, shifting her eyes back to Logan. "I mean, I love her, I _adore her_ —so much, I'll do anything for her, but—"

"What?"

"Well, ya know…Christmas used to be about _me_ ," Veronica says at last pointing at Sally as she giggles showing Pony the biggest present of all.

Logan in case looks at Veronica for all of twenty seconds trying to figure out if she was serious or not, but then when he realizes she is, he can't help bursting into laughter immediately. "Something about the birth of Jesus doesn't ring any bells to ya, doesn't it?" He asks, just barely keeping himself together.

"No!" Veronica replies, barely holding laughter back too. "It was about _me_! This was _my_ holiday —my favorite day of the year, and all…"

He's just looking at her then, tilting his head.

Veronica sighs deeply. "Up until now she was so little to really get into it, but…" She pauses, looking at Sally with a soft smile. "Just look at her."

"She's just like you,"

Veronica turns to him, and offers a nod. "She's totally stealing my thunder," She pouts, but her eyes are wrinkled, and Logan knows she's fighting not to smile. "Wanna hear the worst part?"

He thinks about it for half a second before nodding. "Sure yes,"

"I don't really mind," Veronica admits with a little shrug before looking back over at Sally. "Hey sweet girl, did ya check if Santa ate his cookies?"

At that, Sal instantly froze, and turned to look at Veronica. "No," She answers with wide eyes and actual concern in her little features.

"It's all right," Veronica smiles sweetly as moves kneeling down in front of Sally. She opens her arms for her.

Sally doesn't hesitate before running into her mom's arms. "Can we go check?"

"Yeah," She says scooping up Sally and kissing her cheek.

Before they can move to check Santa's plate though, Logan moves to them and wraps his arms around them both. "Merry Christmas, you two,"

Sally smiles brightly, and leans into his side immediately. "Merry Christmas Daddy!"

Her little voice saying those words melts him and he grins so much his face may break. "I love you bunny," He whispers, bringing her closer, and kissing her head. His eyes shift to Veronica and she's giving him _a look_. "You too of course. I love you," He promises with his eyes on hers.

"You too," Veronica tells him back with a small laugh. "Now let's check if Santa approved of our baking this year Sal,"

Sally nods enthusiastically as they all walk to the spot by the fireplace where Santa's plate was.

Sure enough it was mostly empty with just crumbs left on the plate. Sally's giggles fill the early morning then as she gives a happy dance because of course _her_ cookies _had_ to be Santa's favorites.

"Still your favorite day?" Logan asks Veronica at some point in the middle of gift opening.

Veronica only has to look at that daughter of hers for two seconds before grinning and nodding strongly. "Definitely," She assures him. "Yours?"

Logan too lets his eyes trail to Sally for a few seconds then. "Definitely. Still, the best Christmas present ever, Veronica. Thank you," He says, making her grin.

"You're most certainly welcome sailor. Merry Christmas…"

x

* * *

((IX))

The entire first floor is filled with smoke, and Veronica can't believe he keeps trying to make those damn cookies seeing how terribly bad at it he is.

She's still in her pajamas, eyes sleepy as she makes her way downstairs.

Logan materializes himself in front of the stairs faster than she can make it to the kitchen though.

"What do you think you are doing?" He asks seriously, standing in front of her, as if to block her way to the kitchen.

Veronica looks at him and scoffs as she walks right past him. "What does it look like I'm doing?" She says, on her way to the kitchen. It's a mess of course, but a much _much_ bigger mess than it was less than an hour ago when she came to check on him. _Jesus_. "Saving your life, of course," She adds when Logan walks into the kitchen as well. She turns looking at him over her shoulder. "For the third time today, but who's keeping track honey," She says mocking sweetness.

Logan's jaw sets, and he takes in a long breath. "I don't need saving, thank you very much," He says childishly enough, walking further into the kitchen, picking up where he left off in his attempt to clean it.

Boy, nobody told him this baking business was so tricky.

So far all of his cookie batches had burnt, and the oven was gross with burnt batter and now there was even smoke everywhere.

No, he didn't need saving per se, but a cook to do this for him wouldn't hurt now that he thought about it.

Veronica just looks at him helplessly. "Why did I think it was okay to let you do _any_ Christmas baking?"

He glares, but he doesn't mean it —not one bit. "Well that'll be because you had to," He tells her in a snappy tone he doesn't mean. "Well, that if you want any Christmas cookies at all this year…and we both know you do…so there, that's why…"

" _I_ could've done it…"

"Oh no you couldn't have…doctor's orders, 'member?"

She scrunches her face at that, and pouts. "I don't like it,"

"I know," Logan answers off handedly as he does his best to scrape all of the cookie batter off the bottom of the oven. "You've been very vocal about how much you _hate it_ , Veronica. _I know,_ " He insists, and while she's still pouting, he's smiling, because what the hell, third baking incident of the day had nothing on his need to keep her nice and healthy at home. "Which brings me to… _you should be in bed…"_

Veronica frowns and shakes her head. "I'm done sleeping. So done. I'm not going back upstairs." Especially when it seemed he was completely destroying their kitchen. Nope. No way in hell she was going back upstairs. "I'll take it easy, but there'll be _no more_ sleeping for me. I'm done."

Logan looks at her helplessly at those words —he saw it coming. Of course he did. There was no way Veronica could stay more than three days in bed without completely going crazy, and they were on day five, so he'll count this as a win for all that she knows. "Then you are going to have to take the couch," He offers, looking at her sideways while still cleaning that damn oven. "If you don't, then I'll just take you back upstairs myself," He warns, this time fully looking at her in the eye. "We both know I can do it… _easily,"_

Veronica scowls at that smug face he's making, and bites her tongue instead of professing how much she hates him right now. "I'll take the couch, thank you very much," She bites out pointedly. "I'd rather that than dying minute by minute upstairs by myself, y'know?"

Logan gives her an odd look and shakes his head disapprovingly. "Dramatic much, huh?"

"Shut it!" She warns, and she's completely serious this time. "I'll take the couch and you are going to stop hovering. _Also_ ," She calls before he can speak. "You are gonna stop destroying my kitchen. You _can't_ make cookies Logan, so stop, stop it, just… _stop_ ," And as she says that, of course her voice cracks, and it causes them both to stop cold in their spots.

Slowly, Logan turns from the oven to properly face her, and just as slowly, Veronica shifts her eyes to meet his. She's trembling slightly for some reason, so she makes herself breathe deeply.

Logan stops completely what he was doing, and instead moves so that he's in front of her. "Hey," He calls, and he's looking at her sweetly as though she's not at the verge of an epic meltdown. "I can be done making cookies,"

" _Trying_ to make cookies," She corrects him in spite of everything —her voice still has an edge of vulnerability she can't shake to save her life. "What you were doing isn't making cookies,"

"Okay," Logan nods slowly and lightly smiles. "Number three is still doing quite a number on you, huh?"

That's very true, Veronica thinks, but she still shakes her head at Logan. "Don't call it number three,"

"Okay fine, I'll rephrase it, surprise _slash_ mistake baby is totally still doing a number on you, eh?"

" _Logan_ ," She whines, although there _is_ a smile on her face as she wordlessly pleads him to stop it.

He breaths out deeply. "Fine, but you get what I mean right?"

"Yeah," She nods because yes, this whole hormones out of whack thing was certainly getting out of control as of late. Especially since she was put on bed rest, honestly. It was just _tough_. Everything.

Sally was almost nine, while Matthew just turned six a couple months ago, so yes, number three had definitely been a surprise.

Planned or not though, Veronica still loved that baby already of course — _so much_ and definitely wanted it to be as healthy and happy as she could assure it, but…

But knowing that didn't make things any easier.

Especially right now. It was Christmas and she wanted to be doing so much more than she was. She wasn't even allowed to Christmas shop properly this year for the kids _or_ Logan, and _that,_ that was bad.

The crying spells didn't help all that much either to be honest.

"What about I get you some tea or something while you sit there…" Logan says then, pointing at one of their kitchen stools. "And walk me through this cookie making business; it cannot be _this_ hard, can it? You've been doing it all these years!"

And at that of course Veronica cracks up laughing, because yes, apparently it _is_ this hard. "One more time, you can try _one_ more time, kay?"

"Okay, okay," Logan says playfully. He moves behind her and helps her to one of the stools. His hand trails down her back, and he leans in kissing her softly. "I love you, you know?"

And there he is, being sweet and sappy, and how is it possible to love him still so much? In spite of everything, the hormones, and the stress she can't understand, she nods because hey, she does know. One thing she's positively sure in this life is just that. "I know," She says back, and it makes him smile. "You too, but please, oh please get on baking otherwise we ain't getting any love from child number one or child number two this year…"

And now Logan's laughing too and it's in that moment when it kind of finally feels like Christmas.

x

* * *

 _TBC_


	4. X

**Author's Note :** So this is it! Thank you SO much for taking the time to read this...in March! lol! It was pretty fun though, and while this is all I have for now, I'm a bit wacky myself and with very little regard of seasonal fics during the 'right' season, so I may come back and revisit it in the future with more lol Maybe! :)

Thank you all again! Happy Happy Weekend!

* * *

 _ **This New Life**_

* * *

((X))

"Hey…"

"Um?" He's still too asleep to function or form proper words; so Veronica tries again.

"Hey, Logan, wake up, wake up!" Her voice is a loud chirpy whisper and Logan can feel her hovering above him.

She kisses his mouth and chin, and puts her hands on his face, and for a minute he wonders if he's dreaming or what? His eyelids still feel so heavy so he doesn't open his eyes. Logan barely murmurs a soft ' _What?'_ before bringing one of his own hands up to his face.

"C'mon, wake up!" She chirps again and even laughs softly.

One of his eyes shoots open. "Are they awake?" Logan asks hoarsely but Veronica shakes her head. His second eye opens, and he blinks at her confused. "Um, what?"

She smiles slightly and then pats his cheeks. "It's Christmas,"

Logan runs a hand over his face, before nodding —rule of thumb; always nod, even when still completely confused. Besides, even in his still half-asleep state, Logan can't ignore Veronica's beaming smile and that alone wills him awake some more. "They're not 'wake?"

"Um, nope, not yet…" She answers simply, still smiling and forcing herself not to tease him about the way all his words are running together in his attempt to speech. "Come on," She tells him again. "I even made _you_ coffee downstairs…" She teases with her best smile yet, and to be expected, he can't resist.

Logan goes into the bathroom quickly to brush his teeth and splash some water on his face making himself fully awake at last. When he comes out, Veronica's waiting for him and together they walk downstairs extra quietly.

It wasn't even six am yet, so everything was still quiet in their home. They padded their way slowly into the living room, and for a few minutes they were quiet as Logan sipped from his coffee and Veronica sat curled up against him with her cheek on his chest.

Her eyes were closed, but she really wasn't that sleepy. The baby woke her up at four thirty and since she decided to stay awake for an hour, Veronica figured she might as well just stay awake and surprise Logan this morning.

Over the years, she'd made him do just about everything for this holiday especially. At first, it was about her, about making it _feel special_ because maybe back then she'd needed to prove to herself that she could do it. Eventually that changed and it became about traditions and _their_ family, and the stakes were even higher then in a way. Now she had an audience to not just entertain, but also impress, and so she'd done just about _everything_ over the years. She'd done all kinds of different themes, tried on countless recipes, and figured out way too many ways to decorate their home to even remember.

It'd been a long time since that first holiday she got to spend with Logan as adults. Lots and lots of presents had been exchanged, some more memorable than others for sure, but still the sentiment whether they said it or not was always the same one —made the other smile that special cheery smile on this particular morning of all mornings in the year.

Everything was changed now from how it was way back when it was just the two of them though —everything was just _different_ now; and it were the little things that especially gave Veronica pause these days. How their stockings didn't hang alongside _just_ their puppy's stocking by the fireplace anymore. Nowadays Pony's stocking had been replaced by that one of the new pup they adopted three years ago, and by it side hung the _three_ extra stockings Veronica never could've imagined she'd be hanging one day. Their stockings didn't even read Logan and Veronica anymore; it was ' _Mom'_ and ' _Dad'_ now —more shockingly though; she was very okay with that.

None of it was planned —most of it wasn't anyway, and the few things that were actually planned, never really quite turned out as such, but that was okay really.

It was her life, and while the other shoe could very well drop tomorrow, right now it was a very darn good life.

"So you did it…"

"Um, what?" Veronica replies, looking up at him. She was too focused in her own inner thoughts to catch what he said.

Logan looks down at her, and slightly shakes his head. "You did it. You woke up before me on Christmas morning,"

And of course his words make Veronica beam. "Took me only what, ten, fifteen, twenty years almost?" She asks him goofily with a smile, but then she sighs. "You know, it _is_ still my favorite day,"

"Yeah?" He asks back softly, playing with her hair. She nods but silence lingers for a beat. "I'm glad…"

"Me too," Veronica replies quickly, chinning up to meet his eyes. "I did something when you were sleeping,"

Her words immediately made Logan curious. He smirks before he can stop himself. "Yeah? What did you do?"

Veronica sits up a little then; she looks at him with mischief in her eyes. "I emptied your stocking,"

"What?" His tone is confused of course, but it still makes Veronica chuckle slightly.

"Relax," She tells him placing a hand on his chest, mockingly comforting him. "I didn't _throw_ your stuff away; I just took it out for a moment…"

He's still confused, but what the hell, he'll bite. "Okay,"

"Okay, so…I don't know, I just…I wanted you to know that all of it, all of this doesn't _really_ matter," Veronica says gesturing to all the presents under the tree. She shrugs at Logan. "This year it's been…well, not easy with everything, but it's been especially stressing on you, I know…" They fought a lot this last month —a lot, and while they always made up fast, it didn't take away from the fact that it was happening. "I don't want it to be like that," She tells him honestly.

Logan breaths in and out deeply before nodding.

"I know I can get pretty crazy around Christmas, but…I don't ever really want you thinking I care more about the perfect holiday, than you know, _you_ or those kids upstairs," Veronica says pointing to the stairs. "I like the presents as you know,"

He interrupts her scoffing, and while Veronica glares at him, she also smiles.

"I like them, sue me, but they are _not_ why I like the holidays."

And actually, at that, Logan nods his head, because of course he knows. Not to say that because he knew that he thought it was any less important to try his hardest to get her the very very best Christmas present every year, but still…

Logan was starting to get where she was going with all of this now. "I know,"

"Okay, so, yeah I wanted to say that,"

He smiles at her, and leans in surprising her with a kiss. She smiles widely against his mouth, and Logan grins. "Okay, so, now are you gonna give me back my stocking?" Logan asks, his eyes darting to the fireplace where his stocking was still looking rather skinny compared to all the others.

Veronica in any case was smirking when Logan looked over back at her. "What?"

"I wasn't finished," She says, and she's just barely containing the stupid grin off her face. "I'm gonna need you to go grab my stocking, and do the same thing I did."

"What? Empty it?"

Veronica nods at the question. "See, we've done just about every theme since we got together once upon a time, and you know, it's been lots of fun, and if we are honest, then I know we can admit I've kicked your ass more often than not all these years in the gifting department,"

"Excuse me?!" His voice carried indignation and mock hurt.

It makes Veronica giggle. "I did empty your stocking, but I picked one thing and left it there. My best present to you if you will,"

Logan's frowning a little now, but he'll be lying if he denied how he was actually enjoying all this. He twists his lips a little thoughtfully. "Okay, so I should pick one thing from you stocking —the one I think it's the best?"

Veronica claps her hands in front of her, and squeals in delight before remembering the sleeping kids upstairs. They wait in silence for all of two minutes to see if they could hear any noises from upstairs, but when no sound came, Veronica carried on. "Yeah, you do that, and then we can just exchange those before the small humans wake up and today becomes about 'em…"

Logan looks at her for a long moment in silence, just studying her, and going through her words. In the end, he offers a smile and nods. He's up from the couch a moment later, and walking toward the fireplace. From the six stockings hanging there, he picks the one on the far left that belongs to Veronica.

She's looking at him playfully from her place on the couch, and Logan can't help feeling a little giddy too. He walks with the stocking in the direction of the table, and with his back to Veronica dumps most of the stuff on the plain surface. Many of the little presents were from the kids, but Logan had made sure to also stuff her stocking with a few key things he'd chosen especially for her.

He didn't have to think about which one he was going to choose for too long —this year after all it wasn't the first year he'd chosen to put in her stocking the one present he hoped she'd like best of all.

"Kay, I got it," He announces after a small moment.

Veronica's frowning at him when he turns around. "That was quick," She points outs, and he shrugs, moving back to the couch with her stocking in hand.

"Well, what can I say, _I am_ speedy," Logan tells her only half-playfully.

Veronica's still looking at him warily, but brushes it off, and instead gets up to go get his stocking from the fireplace. "Do you wanna open yours first? Or…" She says as she comes back to the couch, and plops herself beside him.

Logan looks at both stockings for a few seconds before knitting a brow and shifting his eyes to meet Veronica's. "Just how good is your present?"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh well, I mean, is it _good good,_ or, you know, _life-changing good?"_ He asks, and she can't blame him, after all she'd chosen Christmas of all days to tell him she was pregnant once upon a time.

Veronica in any case softly laughs at that, and shakes her head. "Just good," She says, and Logan nods in agreement.

"Then it doesn't matter to me…you decide," He says shrugging.

Veronica looks at him thoughtfully for all of ten seconds before letting out a breath, and grinning in his direction. "Open yours,"

"Yeah?"

"YES!" She giggles.

Inside his stocking there's a red letter sized envelope. Logan frowns slightly when he holds it up, looking at Veronica. "A Christmas card?"

She shrugs. "Open it," She says, and he does.

Logan doesn't even bother reading the actual card, his eyes go straight to Veronica's handwriting —the smile on his face is instant.

 _Gotcha you fool! Your present is actually not this! The real thing is actually tucked under the couch; quick! Go get it now!_

 _PS: I love you so much Logan! You are my favorite husband! Merry Christmas! xxo_

Veronica could tell Logan was near the end of her note by the confused look on his face. "I cheated all right, my best present didn't fit in your stocking, but…to be fair, I was going to let you pick one of the big ones too if you complained about not finding your best one in my stocking —I took my chances, kay?"

Logan looks at her as if she were crazy, which she totally is to be fair, but in the end he just agrees. "Kay, sure…"

"Okay, now, go get it, open it…" Veronica didn't want to rush through this —at all honesty, but with three small humans of their own, and an early riser puppy that slept with the oldest one, the chances of one of them waking up in the near future was quite big.

A moment later, Logan went to get the present from under the couch. It was a square-ish present; wrapped nicely enough with a couple bows stuck on the front. It was heavier than Logan thought it was going to be when he picked it up but he still didn't have an actual guess to what it was.

"Hmm…" He mutters playfully, shaking it in his hands. "I do wonder what could it be, my love?"

"Logan,"

"Fine, fine…" He says, carefully tearing the wrapping paper.

Eventually, Logan reveals a thick book with his name embroiled across one corner on the leather cover. He looks up at Veronica smiling, and offers a heartfelt nod of his head. "Thank you," he says softly.

"You are welcome, but you gotta open it…that's the real present…"

Logan doesn't say anything else. Slowly, he does as she told him. He opens the book, and little by little he realizes this isn't any ordinary book —it's more of a scrapbook or memory book, he thinks.

Veronica took it upon herself to fill the pages of the book with everything from letters he'd gotten from strangers during special occasions back when he was serving, to lots of the emails and letters they had written to each other when he was deployed. There were also some pictures, really old ones when they were kids, but recent ones too. She picked of course some of their kids' best father's day artwork and carefully layered them onto page after page of memories. He knew she kept that piece of paper he'd written his vows on once upon a time, but seeing it there on one of the pages was shockingly comforting –not one word he'd written then didn't stand true today.

"Wow, Veronica…"

"Do you like it?"

"Are you kidding me?" Logan asks her, shifting his eyes from the book. "This is…—thank you,"

"You are welcome,"

"I…I really, I hadn't thought of half these things in so long…" He says while oh-so carefully flipping some of the pages. "I can't believe you did this…"

"Funny story, I was supposed to give it to you last year…"

At that bit of information, Logan looks up at her again. "Um?"

"I've been meaning to do it for a while now, but every year kept getting crazier than the last one, and then last year with the whole bedrest thing, it was kinda hard to get around to do anything, you know? And then with the baby it didn't get any easy to find time, but…you know, I really wanted to be able to keep all those things in one place for you, so…I finished it…finally,"

" _Thank you_ ,"

She nods at him. "I tried making the best digital copies I could. It's not nearly the same, but in the event of something happening to that one, we have a backup sailor…"

Logan's definitely moved, she can tell, and now _that_ is why she likes this time of year so much.

"I love you so much, you know this, right?"

"Of course I do…" Veronica replies with no hesitation.

"Do you wanna open your present now?" Logan asks her after a few more minutes of looking at his present. "I warn you, it does not compare in the amount of time and thought you put behind this one,"

"Logan,"

"No, I know, presents really aren't the most important thing and all that…but, you put a lot of work in this Veronica," He says touching the book. "I just need you to know that I truly appreciate it, and that nothing material I'll ever give you will probably ever measure up to this one,"

At first she was ready to tell him how no, no, presents really weren't that important, but then he said _those words_ and her whole features lit up. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? "You are saying I'm the champion gift-gifter Logan?" She asks and of course Logan cannot hold his laughter.

"Logan! Am I?!" She's so excited she can't barely contain herself right then.

Logan's still laughing, but he manages a, " _Yeah! You are_!" between fits of laughter anyway.

Veronica joins in and gloats because it was about time he admitted that!

A few minutes later, after having calmed down, Veronica grabbed her stocking and prepared herself to peek inside. To her surprise, Veronica also found an envelope in there. "Hmmm…Is my present under the couch too?"

"No, it's not, smarty pants…"

"Fine," She says bringing her eyes to the envelope again. It was white, and rectangular in shape. She twists her lips as she carefully rips one side.

"Wait," Logan says, and reluctantly she does stop. "Gimme," He demands. "There are two things in there, you gotta see one first…then the other,"

"Okay…"

"Here, this one is the first part…"

It's a piece of paper —fancy feeling paper Veronica thinks right away as Logan hands her the paper. It's folded in three, and on the top cover there's a solo _V_ written with a fine pen —it was just one letter but Veronica could tell Logan's perfect handwriting with just that one V of all other Vs written in the history of written Vs for sure.

"You wrote me a letter?" She asks him, looking at him dreamily.

He shrugs. "Kinda, a little bit…"

And there it was as Veronica looked back down at the piece of paper in her hands —the very smile Logan had gotten accustomed to see on this very day every year for the last fifteen years of his life. That smile that meant he'd done it, and she was happy with his present.

Whew…

As Veronica opened the folded paper, her eyes met with more of Logan's handwriting; with perfect calligraphy, her name was written on top.

Below it, _the one hundred and one reasons why I love you_

"Really?"

He shrugs. "My inner thirteen year old self thought it was a great idea when I thought it…" Logan admits. "Right about now, I'm very embarrassed to be honest with you…"

"It's sweet,"

"However clichéd," Logan finishes for her.

Veronica in any case rolls her eyes and shakes her head. "No," She says, but then shakes her head again. "I mean, yeah, it's a bit…"

"Cheesy,"

"A little, but not, I…" Her sentence dies on her tongue as her eyes trail down to his words again. She smiles and although it's been five months since the baby was born, she blames the tears pricking in her eyes to whatever leftover hormones she still has. "You could've written a template list of adjectives…" She pauses, shifting her eyes back to him. "But you didn't…" Instead, he'd written very specific sentence long reasons —sometimes small paragraphs even.

\- _I love you. All of you. Morning you. Afternoon you. Evening you. Middle of the day, middle of the night, you. All of you._

\- _If I had to choose though, middle of the night you is my favorite you. I love you Veronica._

\- _I love the way that you are so much stronger than I am, but in turn push me to be stronger **with** you every day._

\- _Your intelligence is staggering and I love it. I admire you more than you'll ever know._

\- _The way you just_ **_know_** _things, like when I'm sick and tired and need a break I didn't even know I did —but you do. You always do._

\- _How you tip extra –'forget' the change, and use **my** card every time you find someone/something worthy to give our money to._

\- _How you get **me** donut holes and coffee and then eat them all yourself._

\- _How much you truthfully apologize every time we play "Sorry"_

\- _How you always make sure the kids have something sweet in their lunch packs. Even if they weren't behaving perfectly. Even if you told them they wouldn't._

\- _How you secretly do something to make the kids happy, but blame me for it because for some reason you don't want to take the credit._

\- _The way you kiss their boo-boos._

\- _The way you kiss **my** boo-boos._

\- _The way you **kiss.**_

\- _How you just know me. You know **me,** and Veronica, it's not all pretty, but you aren't scared._

\- _Of course you are sexy as hell, and I love that. I love you._

\- _That freakishly way you can tell when your bagel's been more than three minutes in the toaster oven and the need to make me understand my mistake every time. **Every. Time.**_

\- _How you can't never reach anything, so you use the kids' stools all the time._

\- _How little you complain about the things you should, and how much you do complain about the things that don't really matter to you._

\- _How you're always on time —how do you do that? I don't know! I really don't!_

\- _How you've never ever forgotten a birthday in all these years. I'm also puzzled by that honestly._

\- _How you did forget our anniversary that one year and how you probably still feel bad about it. I love you babe!_

"It is actually very sweet, thank you Logan…"

He doesn't even bother replying, he doesn't know what to say, so instead he just watches as Veronica's eyes once more pour over his words, and he smiles. "There's a part two remember?"

At this of course her eyes snap in his direction. Logan's smile morphs into a grin at that reaction. "Here," He says handing her back the white envelope.

Veronica sets the piece of paper she was holding before grabbing the envelope from Logan. Inside she finds yet another white envelope, smaller in size than the first one, and clearly not nearly as fancy paper as the first one.

She gets it out, and rips the side open, revealing not surprisingly more pieces of paper. She groans ever so slightly so Logan jumps in supplying an explanation. "They're plane tickets Veronica," He says and flashes a grin when she looks up at him. "We haven't gotten away in _a while —_ it's time…"

Sure he was right, but still…she frowns looking at him slightly uneasy. Two years ago she would have probably jump at this vacation in a heartbeat, _it was long overdue,_ she _wanted_ to go but…

"Before you say anything, take a look at the dates…"

Veronica does as he says. "No date…"

"Yeah," Logan says nodding, moving so that he's sitting right beside her. "I know you don't wanna be away from the little miss so soon, neither do I, so whenever she's ready, whenever _we_ are ready…you know, let's get away for a little bit…" He explains easily. "It's your present though, so, you know, we can take them all if you want to. Or we can just take Abby with us and ship the other two to your Dad or Wallace, or my brother, or someone, and just take her. Or, you know, we could make it a family vacation, it's up to you." Logan tells her. "But since you suck at knowing when you need a break, here I am with this," He says pointing at the voucher she was holding. "You've also been super stressed with everything; you need a break for a little bit…"

"I thought these trips were at least two weeks long, nope?" She tells him, and while she's fighting it, her lips are twitching upwards just watching Logan's very own excited smile.

" _At least,_ of course _,"_ He agrees flashing his best grin before reaching for her face, and tenderly kissing her lips. "I love you," He says softly, then leans in kissing her once more. "So much," Again he pauses only long enough to say the words before kissing her again. "And you deserve a break every once in a while too…" Once more he kisses her but this time it's deeper and longer. She sighs against his mouth, and her eyes fall close. Logan gently caresses her face before reaching over and tangling their fingers together. He lifts their joined hands and kisses her. "Please…" He says in that sickly sweet manner she can't take. "It'll be fun,"

"Oh, I don't doubt that," She chimes in playfully, her eyes fluttering open and fixing into his. "Abby's still just so little,"

"Oh, I know," Logan says in a soothing voice. "Which is why I didn't book anything any time soon," Veronica is still making a face at his words, and Logan gets it all right; her pregnancy with Abby hadn't been the easiest, she'd been in freaking bedrest for over six weeks, so it really was no secret to him how Veronica was a little extra protective of her. After all, the little one was the baby, her last one, and the one she almost lost on more than one occasion.

Logan didn't blame her for feeling like this, he felt his own version of those feelings too after all, but Abby was such a healthy little girl these days so really, other than their own anxieties, there was no reason they couldn't make this trip sometime this year.

And he really did not mind at all if they took the kids with them at all. He really just wanted Veronica to take a break from their day to day routine so that was why an impromptu vacation was the best gift he could come up with this year as well.

"Okay, I'll think about it okay…" Veronica says at last. "Maybe in a couple of months, just you and me for a few days, and then we can bring on the kids. That'd be fun, right?"

Logan's putty in her hands, so he just nods. "Yeah, it'd be…"

x

By seven am all three kids were up, and while the baby was far too young to open presents or really enjoy the holiday _at all,_ at the very least miss Abby Echolls managed to stay awake for all of the four hours her siblings and parents took to open most of the presents under the tree.

Now it was almost noon, and Veronica was on the couch snuggling Sally as the two of them watched _The Year Without Santa Claus_ for like the hundredth time.

When Logan came downstairs after putting Abby down for a nap, Veronica kissed Sally's head and got up joining him in the kitchen. "She's out?"

"Yup," Logan says simply, washing his hands. "She's definitely the easiest of the three, don't ya think?"

Veronica shrugs, and then just moves closer to him letting Logan wrap her in his arms. Something was up, he could tell, but he couldn't quite put his finger on what.

For a few minutes, he just held her, but when Veronica voluntarily chinned up and met his eyes, Logan couldn't help asking. "What's on your mind huh?"

"Honest?"

"Duh, yeah…"

"Lily,"

Logan frowns a bit. "Lily as in Lily, _Lily_ , our Lily?"

That makes Veronica smile a little. "Yup, that one," She nods.

"What about Lily?"

"I don't know," Veronica answers a tad uneasy. She pulls back from Logan, and moves him so that he's sitting on one of the kitchen's stools and Veronica's on his lap. "Just…you know, after Lily died, I would sometimes think that, you know, the universe had taken the wrong one,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I would think, between the two of us, if one _had_ to be gone, it shouldn't have had to be Lily," She tries explaining. "Lily was, well, _Lily_. She was…the best, she was unafraid, she was bold and strong, and…she was my best friend. So yeah, at first after she died I kept thinking the universe had taken the wrong one…"

Logan just looks at her as she said those words —not really sure what the right thing to say back to _that_ was.

Luckily Veronica wasn't expecting him to say much back yet. "Plus then it came the guilt thing too…"

"Guilt?"

"At first _you_ thought it was my fault, remember? What happened to her…"

Logan's quiet, honestly having a hard time reading Veronica, deciphering her right now. It's not too long until he's back in that mindset of that teen he was all those years ago though. Veronica was wrong though. "I thought it was _my_ fault." He corrects her, and she nods slowly.

"Yeah…" She agrees, because really that wasn't a secret. Not to say it wasn't a mistake too though. "But it wasn't."

Logan agrees with that too and nods. "Neither was yours…"

"I know." Veronica replies simply. "I still think about her a lot —sometimes,"

Logan's eyes widen a bit at that piece of information, that while not completely surprising, it was still not something Veronica told him often. "Not in an _I wish the universe had taken me instead_ kind of way I hope?"

His words make her smile a little. "Nope," She promises. "Not really in that way at all."

At the assurance Logan nods, and matches her smile slightly.

"I guess I just still miss her sometimes." Veronica continues speaking then. "I wish I could see her,"

"Me too,"

"Um?"

"Oh, I totally wish I could see her too, are you kidding?" Logan replies suddenly excited — abruptly the grief lifted and the tone of their convo is light for that moment. "I'll give _everything_ to see Lily's face if she could see us _now_. I'd pay cash money to brag my life to no other than the fabulous Lily Kane. She'd be so so so pissed at us,"

"Ugh she would," Veronica agrees knowingly. "I can hear her, mocking my homemade cookies and crockpot hot cocoa…"

"Just our whole attempt at this white picket fence life; it'd take her less than a minute to start declaring how disappointed in us she is…"

"True," Veronica can't help saying; her eyes trailing down Logan's body making her smirk. "Especially after she sees you and your closet full of horrendous plaid pajama pants,"

"Hey!" Logan whines, making her chuckle.

"What? It's the truth! She'd _hate_ those!" Veronica says back with another laugh. "Probably almost as much as I do,"

Her words give Logan pause for a few seconds, but then he thinks something. "Should we toast her?"

"Lily?"

"Mm-hmm, why not?" Logan nods, his hand taking hers softly into his own.

Veronica looks up at him then to find him smirking that patented smirk of his she loves _and_ hates so very dearly. She's quiet for a bit then, watching him until her mind is made and she just _knows_ the right way to make his idea work just right. "Sure," Veronica says. "C'mon," She adds as she jumps off his lap.

The crockpot filled with actually quite decent hot chocolate is on the far end of the counter and almost as soon as they start heading that way Logan thinks he knows what Veronica's thinking.

When Veronica then says, _"You get the shot glasses,"_ Logan knows he was right.

"Sure," He nods, moving to the cupboard grabbing not just the two shot glasses for the two of them, but a couple extra ones. Veronica gives him a look when he walks back to her; Logan shrugs. "Hey don't be mean, we gotta share on the fun with the kids, it's Christmas!"

She's still looking at him oddly so he rolls his eyes. "We _gotta_ amuse Lily somehow, don't give me that look! It's the least we can do! If we are gonna piss her off, we might as well do it right!"

A chuckle escapes Veronica, and she shrugs in a _what the hell_ manner. "Fine," She agrees finally, making Logan beam.

"Sal! Mattie! Come here!"

Sally had been still rather entertained on the couch watching the movie, but she still got up when Logan called her.

Matthew was sitting on the kitchen table working on some Legos he had just gotten from Santa when Logan called. He did look up when his name was called, but was then also quick to shake his head and go back to his toy.

Veronica rolls her eyes, and walks to him. "Come on, just stop for a few minutes," She insists, gently helping him off his seat.

Matthew pouts and whines a little of course, but doesn't really put much a fight.

Veronica picks him up, and he doesn't really hesitate to wrap his own scrawny little arms around her neck. Just because there was a new baby in the house didn't mean Veronica didn't think of him as her baby boy from time to time still.

Sal was already standing by Logan when Veronica and Mattie came back, so she just set the kid down next to his sister and smiled. "Okay, so here's the deal, we got hot —warm-ish cocoa, and shot glasses, you guys need to just drink that super-fast and that's it,"

"That's it?"

"Yup, easy as that you'll make your folks and Aunt Lily happy this fine Christmas morning,"

Sally looks at Logan frowning as he says that. "Aunt Lily?"

Logan lets out a breath and just looks at her. "Just bear with us Sal? We are old honey!"

"Just drink it, kay?" Veronica chimes in, and while Sally is not really all that sure, she shrugs and grabs the shot glass Logan's passing her.

Mattie is not really complaining at all, he's mostly just impatient to get back to his toy.

Veronica can't help grinning when both kids look down at the drink in their little glass before almost simultaneously looking back up at them as if they were crazy.

"We are doing this _why_ again?" Sally asks, her forehead still furrowed.

"Because we are telling you to, _and_ we are your parents, so you kinda just _have_ to do it…"

Sally rolls her eyes but her lips definitely twitched upwards as she tried so hard to be annoyed at her Dad.

"We do it at the same time?" Mattie asks then.

"Mm-hmm," Logan answers him, ruffling his hair slightly.

"Okay, you guys ready?" They all nod, so Veronica does too. "Go," She says and watches as Mattie just downs the thing at once and then just places the glass shot in the sink before walking away. Veronica guessed right then he so wasn't going to be her baby boy forever after all.

Sally on the other hand hesitated a little; she made a face at both Logan and Veronica before drinking the thing. She showed no rush though, and instead scowled at them when she was done.

"Thanks Sally," Logan tells her playfully as Sally moved to place the now empty glass shot on the counter.

"You guys are weird." She says to both Logan and Veronica before walking back to the living room. "And mom, you didn't even drink yours!" She calls with her back already to them.

It's not until then that Logan turns to Veronica, and notes that Sally was right. "Hey, do it!" He calls and Veronica laughs.

"Yeah," She answers slowly, contemplating one more time the glass shot in her hands. "To Lily?" She says looking at Logan out of the corner of his yes.

He nods.

"To Lily," Veronica repeats and then just drinks it fast finally.

Logan's smiling at her when she looks back his way. "That was fun," He tells her easily, walking two steps to her. "Merry Christmas, Veronica…" He whispers before ducking a little his head, and kissing her gently.

Veronica smiles against him, keeping their faces close. "Merry Christmas. I love you, you know?"

"Yeah," He whispers back, and kisses her one more time. "Good thing, cause I love you too…"

 _x fin x_


End file.
